Thursday, March 30, 2017

Data Suggesting Virtue Signaling Marketing Doesn't Work

A survey was put out recently wherein Millennials were asked if, in light of the completely fabricated "Uber was racist" story (during Trump's travel ban), were you still going to use them?

And surprise of surprises 95% of Millennials said "yes."

This little tidbit may be of no great concern, but within it lays a whole bunch of implications for leftists and leftist strategies.

1.  Virtue signaling doesn't work either to gain market share or getting your enemy to lose it.

Lyft's disgusting cowardice in accusing Uber of being racist, in all reality should have backfired.  Of course it didn't, but it also didn't score Lyft a huge part of Uber's business.  We also saw this in Target's desperate attempt to be ahead of the SJW curve in letting whoever identify as whatever so you can use whichever bathrooms.  Target's sales have slumped ever since.

2.  Most people, both right and left, are too fat and lazy to boycott.

Boycotting is haaaaarrrrrd.  And the lazy Americans who've populate North America today don't want to drive the extra mile to get non-Star Buck coffee, and "gee shuck whillkers howdy, they just can't do without their Anti-American Apple product!"  It doesn't matter right or left, you can have a company like Bioware come out right and say "we are going to ass rape you full of leftist politics" and kids will line up to buy those video games.  So here there is good news for the CSR heads and other SJW's who are employed by corporate America.  They will still get their warm fuzzies and muh feelz championing what they were programmed to champion.  Won't do jack to your sales.  Either boosting or harming them.  So an entire generation of fake corporate skeeze can get their political jollies off using marketing and corporations to think they're doing something worthwhile.

3.  Virtue signaling is solely for the virtue signaler.

You would think that since virtue signaling has no effect companies would not engage in it.  Politics would be taken out of commercials and companies would...oh I don't know...just offer their fucking service or product without a sermon.

But oh you poor simple minded fool.  Virtue signaling is going nowhere because it's solely for the virtue signaler.

Understand virtue signalers and the people who virtue signal do so because they really have nothing else in value in life.  They are not your engineers or your truck drivers or your stay at home parent or your otherwise engaged and purposed person in life.  They are wasted lives wandering the US who have no real value or agency and use (predominantly) leftist politics as a substitute for meaning.  A surgeon who just spent 5 hours in surgery does not brag about how he goes green.  An airline pilot does not parade the fact he's for amnesty for illegal aliens.  And a CPA in the middle of busy season is too busy to flaunt her organic/free trade diet.  Real people with real jobs and real lives just don't have time for these fake religions.

Unfortunately, millions of Americans are completely worthless, pointless people who have no real reason to live.  And they could go out and get a real job, or study STEM or raise a family,but that would take effort and that would be haaaaaarrrrrd.

Ergo, why nearly all your virtue signalers are worthless people engaged in worthless professions.

CSR heads.
HR heads.
"Diversity consultants."
Professors.
Teachers.
Non profit employees.
Liberal arts majoring millennials.
Liberal arts majoring soccer moms who live off of STEM majoring husbands as they compete against each other as to who shops more at Whole Foods.

These people need something to point to in order to fool others and themselves that they're not parasites.  And the religions of the left, with their Nicene Creed like recitations about global warming, going green, anti-racism, etc. etc., fills that void of agency and purpose in life.

So while virtue signaling may not work, and may prompt no one to change their behaviors, realize it's here to stay until the millions of worthless people die off.  Because, seriously, what else do they have to do in life?

Wednesday, March 29, 2017

When You Woke Up and Finally Realized, "Wait! Hillary LOST!!!"

I've often said the human brain cannot fully comprehend either amazingly BAD things that happen or amazingly GOOD things that happen, especially in short periods of time.  It takes time to mourn the loss of a loved one, just as it takes time to fully realize the ramifications of winning the lottery.  It's almost the same thing with Hillary Clinton losing.

Certainly we (and very likely the rest of the sane world) rejoiced loudly when she lost those five months ago.  But we may not have fully incorporated and therefore appreciated this fact until now.  Yes, Hillary losing was THAT GOOD of a thing.  And we should thank our lucky stars like we do for good health, good family, and employment that that evil bitch is not president today.

Tuesday, March 28, 2017

Episode #193 of The Clarey Podcast!

Alcohol plays a vital role in society.
When's the last time you were giddy?
The pursuit of novelty.
A crazy dating story.
What did you expect from republicans?

and MORE!!!

In THIS EPISODE of The Clarey Podcast!!!

RSS feed here.

Direct MP3 link here.

The Simple Solution to YouTube's Demonetization Crisis

Entrepreneurship and hustle.  Entrepreneurship and hustle.

Monday, March 27, 2017

Real Life the Video Game

Brilliant

London Defeats Terrorists with Candle Lit Vigil!

Soon to follow is an assault with hashtags like #prayersforlondon and every piece of shit leftist coloring their facebook photo with the British flag.

Is There ANY Happiness in Feminism???

I try to ignore the world of feminism as it's nothing more than a religious hate group full of zealots who abdicate responsibility and worship at the feet of marxism.  It's merely glorified parasitism with a pair of drooping, ugly, pruny tits.  Nothing more, nothing less, and it sure as hell isn't an intelligent discipline or study that women's studies vainly attempts to make it.  But every once in a while their psychotic behavior shocks even me and therefore deserves highlighting, especially for the benefit of warning young boys and men about just what a sick and vile virus feminism is, infecting the girls they wish to court.

And this week there were two such instances.

One, an article in Cosmo (which I won't link to, but will link to the Federalist instead) that says it's bad when men enjoy women having orgasms during sex.  The tongue and cheek analysis is funny and rightly skewers the author as the painfully common liberal-arts-major-turned-poverty-striken-New-York-blogger  that she is.  But my god, now "women having orgasms" is bad and sexist because "men enjoy it."

Two, the kerfuffle over Wonder Woman's armpit hair has gotten feminists in a tizzy, not to mention given agency-less baby boomer and Gen X media types something to write about in their equally-pointless "journalist" careers.  Multiple articles have been written about this "crisis," but feminists have once again taken a movie about historical American comic book hero, that promised to be fund for the whole country, and managed to ruin it for the rest of us with their faux-victim-whore-seeking-rage.  Again, can you not just sit back, buy some popcorn, and have some fun?

But while we can focus on the seeming blood-oath feminists have sworn to being miserable, I'm not focusing on them on account they can't be saved.  Instead I'm going to focus on a group of people that are going to take the brunt of this mentally-diseased group of people - young mens and boys.  Because they are going to have a Darwinistic interest in the young women this poison called feminism will infect.  Ergo, to make sure they know they're not going crazy, and that no, you didn't don't anything wrong, I'm simply going to stand here and say:

"Dude, just open your eyes, look at this shitshow, and see just what a bunch of miserable, unhappy people feminists are."

Though the fine net of the internet has dragged up all sorts of horrific floor dwelling vermin for the world to see, young boys and men who literally don't know any better (especially given their female-centric education in the public schools) need to be shown this type of feminist sadness, anger and misery so that as they age and attempt to court women, they understand just what poison their female counterparts have been fed.

Be it getting yelled at because you cutely referred to your date as "kid" in reference to Casablanca (two girls hated me for this as early as in the 90's)

Be it being lectured for walking a girl to her car or door.

Be it being admonished for having a sexy cheesecake photo (which feminists will call "degrading and objectifying") of your girlfriend on your phone

these normal, historic, genetic, and ultimately, happy, joyful, fun, playful, and loving inter-sex acts between men and women are hated by feminists.  And especially when young women are particularly prone to swallow (if not at least parrot) a lot of this hate, it won't be until they grow up and mature a little bit will they have the adult, reasoned, and altruistic mind capable of being part of a loving (or at least) mutually beneficial dating relationship. Until then, they are simply not capable of being a quality girlfriend or wife.

The sad thing (for feminists anyway) is that their behaviors and temper tantrums are so outlandish, so petty, and so extreme that young boys (even girls), steeped in the leftist indoctrination of universities and K-12 can realize feminism is not some legitimate ideology with legitimate concerns about the sexes, fairness, progress and the equal treatment of women.  But instead, it's a mentally-ill, hateful cult filled with women who are

anti-fun
anti-love
anti-joy
and
anti-male

and can simply be written off as miserable women who hate life.

Warn your young boys, sons, and nephews about this poison they are going to run into as they get older.

Warn your daughters, sisters, and nieces so that they don't waste their lives being miserable like feminists.

And you don't need to show them this article to do so.  Just merely point out what feminists are doing today and even a child's mind can realize their misery.

Saturday, March 25, 2017

Weekend Reminder

To do all your online shopping through Cappy's Amazon affiliate program.

Costs you nothing.
Helps support the show.
Ensures Cappy never has to work in banking again.

Get into the GOOD HABIT of doing all your Amazon shopping by clicking here.

Friday, March 24, 2017

Curse Free Episode #21 3-24-17

Talk radio doesn't advance philosophy
Cappy discovers an SJW assembly plant
Stefan Molyneux's intelligence or Millennial Millie's tits, which would you prefer?
Refusing to attend diversity training.

AND MORE!!!

In THIS EPISODE of The Clarey Podcast!

Direct MP3 link here.

RSS Feed here.


But But But....Vagina!

Isn't it the universal get out of jail free card?

Nope!

Now if only Trump would go after Hillary.

The Illusion of Infinity

I linked to him before, but I'm going to link to him again, because the concept he came up with is brilliant, and that is Cynical Libertarian's "Illusion of Infinity."

Take for example three entities:

The government.
Religion, and
The internet.

They play a role in normal everyday people's lives, but they also introduce, unintentionally "infinity" in one capacity or another, or at least the ILLUSION of infinity.

The government provides the illusion of infinite resources for welfare scum, single moms, and leftists in general.

Religion provides the illusion of infinite life with the promise of an "after life."

And the internet provides the illusion of infinite knowledge with all of humankind's knowledge on the internet.

These illusions CHANGE people's behaviors profoundly in that it fundamentally changes the premises we live life by.

The government has infinite resources?  Well why should I work then?  I'll just sit on my ass.

There's an afterlife after this one?  Well, I'll obey some rules set forth by this religion, but there is no emphasis on the here and now.  No urgency to pack it in and enjoy my life.  Besides, I'll see people on the other side of death.

The internet has all the world's knowledge?  Why study?  Why research?  Why learn.  I'll just google it.

But then there are consequences and costs, especially if there are no infinite resources.

The government goes bankrupt and the economy collapses because too many parasites collected a government check.  Futhermore, in abandoning work, humans also abandon agency and purpose in life.  Working for your food, clothing and shelter meant becoming something of a professional or tradesman.  Now, government check collectors only have the advocation and championing of worthless political crusades (going green, transgendered bathrooms, etc. etc.)

Religion, tragically, makes people waste and squander the one and finite life they have here on this planet.  They don't pack it in.  They don't appreciate what they have.  And they have no hustle in life to enjoy it as much as humanly possible.

And the internet, well, the millennial generation answers that.  Compared to their 18th century counterparts, the lack of wisdom, intelligence, genuine education, and philosophical thought once again renders the millennials as a wasted crop of humans. 

Anyway, this is merely a synopsis of what Cynical Libertarian expounds on in much greater and better detail than what I could here.  You NEED TO LISTEN TO THIS PODCAST as it is likely the most intelligent thing you will have listened to this year, and you will not regret doing so in downloading his podcast.

Thursday, March 23, 2017

Montrose County

New sponsor and I was going to plug the book, but the description the author sent me was compelling enough I didn't have to write anything!

Montrose County is a story that could be tomorrow’s headlines.  An Islamist organization has dispatched two teams to hit the President and two visiting world leaders at a resort in western Colorado.  In Iraq, a pair of NATO commandos have discovered the planning documents in the remnants of a bombed out house, but have no means of communication with which to raise the alarm.  In between is Montrose County Deputy Sheriff Sabrina Murdoch.  Originally from New England, she’s an Iraq war veteran scarred by her experience.  When her life fell apart after her return from Iraq, she hit the road in search of a place to start over, and ended up in the far west end of Colorado.  Bit by bit, she has been rebuilding herself and her life.  But now, as the two Canadians face a mile-by-mile struggle to get back to their base and a radio, Deputy Sabrina Murdoch edges ever closer to her own confrontation with an enemy she thought she left behind. 




Why I Just Don't Care About the London Attack

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1480284769/ref=as_li_qf_sp_asin_il_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=1480284769&linkCode=as2&tag=captaicapit0b-20&linkId=IOTN6LBE2CO6YSSQ

Before you accuse me of being cold, heartless, evil, or a psychopath, understand the point of this post is one akin to the Serenity Prayer.  A very important philosophical epiphany many people never realize, but should as it is vital to their psychological well being and mental health.  It is one of accepting reality and not getting worked up in the world of theory.  And the London attacks, like previous and any future terrorist attacks, are/will continue to make my point until the point in time something is actually done about Islamic terror.  And I strongly suggest you set aside emotions, politics, and even your own sense of self-survival to clearly see and hear the point I'm trying to make.

First, "What is it this time?"

Be it the Nice attack in France.
The bombing in Germany's market square.
The Boston marathon bombing.
The Cologne sexual assault party.
The Orlando gay night club shooting.
Or
The hotel bombing in Mumbai.

It's very apparent that nothing new is going to happen.  The media will immediately rush to say it wasn't confirmed that it was a Muslim who did this.  Then, when it's discovered it was, they will rush out to say Muslims fear a backlash in their communities before the bodies get cold.  There will be furor on the internet on the right demanding we "do something about this."  And people on the left will rush to say it's racism to point out the attacks came from Muslims.

But in the end NOTHING different will happen.

NOTHING.

And the reason nothing different will happen is too many young people, too many old people, and too many women have been successfully brainwashed in western schools to put diversity and the fear of being called a racist over their own desire for self-survival.  They will continue to vote left, they will continue to vote for the elimination of western culture, and unless you're willing to waste your life by taking up arms and overthrowing a democracy, only to be killed yourself or land in prison forever, then your only option is to sit there and take it.

Second, this brings in the importance of stoicism and practicing it.  Since the outcome is already concluded for this and all future terrorist attacks, why get worked up about it?  I know it's not fair.  I know it's not right.  I know your country's very own survival is on the line, but it is here an ultimate test in sanity (and stoicism) applies.

If you don't control it, why bother getting worked up about it?

Yes I know murder is not acceptable.  Yes I know terrorism is bad.  But if it's going to happen no matter what I think about it, then I'm not paying the added price of stress, worry, fret and anger on top of it.  I'm going about my day and working on the things I DO control.

Will I eat healthy?
Will I work out?
Will I work hard?
and most importantly
Will I spend quality time with family, friends, and loved ones?

These decisions and actions WILL have an effect on your future whether you are fated to die in a terrorist blast or not.  And if there's something to save your energy for, executable and effective actions are it.

Third, these people did it to their god damned selves.

If there's a reason to hate me, this third reason is likely it because it shows you how I'm all out of fucks to give about the human race and just what a genuine misanthrope I am.  But if you think about it who are the majority of the victims in these terrorist attacks?  

Hard working conservative farmers in fly over country?
The quiet studious man spending time with his nuclear family at home?
The penitent man confessing his sins at church?
Or the engineering student, foregoing a night of partying so he can study for a better life?

The absolute-zero cold statistical truth is the majority of terrorist attacks kill a majority of people in western civilization who voted this stuff in.  Namely leftists.

The twin towers wiped out predominantly New Yorkers.  Sad and tragic as it was, of the 3,000 people died the majority were leftists.

The party goers in Nice and Cologne?  Young people living off of the government dime studying some worthless degree or another telling them how evil white people and capitalism are.  Leftist.

Bar the cop who heroically died in the London attack yesterday, I'm sure people wandering downtown London that got run over by Terrorist Attacker #379c were good leftists.

Boston.  Left.

The San Bernardino terrorist attack was at a government facility on government workers.  Leftists.

The horrifying attack in the gay night club.  Leftists.

And my favorite is when the occasional feminist gets raped at a refugee camp.  Most definitely leftist.

I know this shows I no longer have a soul, and yes, I acknowledge there were definitely some non-leftist victims in these attacks, but again my point is not one of morality or ethics.  My point is one of acceptance, numbers, and reality.  It's hard to attack and kill conservatives in large numbers because those ignorant hick bastards are spread out over rural and suburbanite areas.  They don't congregate in downtown areas to "party."  And the major metro centers with the richest targets for terrorists tend to have heavily dense populations of leftists.

And while on a human side I do mourn the innocent worker in Mumbai, or the innocent tourist in the twin towers, on the whole I just can't give a fuck when the majority of people who are dying in these attacks are the ones who voted it in.  And I REALLY can't give a fuck when for the past 30 years of my life these people are the ones who call me racist, sexist, evil, fascist and "privileged," blame me for all their problems, and likely hate me more than the terrorists themselves do.

And this leads to my final point about terrorist attacks nobody's going to do anything about - self respect.

Much as I disagree with terrorism, Islam, and murder, there is one thing they have that westerners don't - self respect.

Disagree with their culture, disagree with their heinous methods, disagree with whatever you want, they actually have the self-respect to put themselves first and not roll over on their backs in a death-bound psychotic virtue-signaling competition to see who is the least racist and biggest proponent of diversity.  They actually love themselves and their culture enough to die for it, while leftists can't wait to lift their skirts quick enough while jettisoning and throwing their own culture under the bus.

This lack of self-respect disgusts me.  It's like the nerd who self-pities himself and mopes, saying, "no girl will ever like me.  Sigh.  There's no reason to live.  I'm such a bad person."  But instead of begetting pity or sympathy, it begets disrespect, disdain and (in my case) hatred and rage.

I just can't respect or care about people who don't have the basic, simple ability to respect themselves.  To be such self-loathing, cowardly, worthless human beings that they place more value on valuing others over themselves is revolting.  It's so disgusting that in full intellectual honesty I can actually respect the terrorists themselves more because at least they stand for something.

So when you throw it altogether, why should I or anybody else with self-respect and a life to tend to, give a flying fuck about this or the scores of attacks that are going to happen in the future?

Nothing is going to be done about it.
The people who are attacked don't care and even think they deserve it.
Nobody has the courage to speak up about limiting immigration to cultures that don't have irreconcilable differences.
And the people getting attacked are unconsciously the ones who brought it upon themselves.

A culture without self-respect will not survive.  Not in as much that it doesn't "deserve" it, but the reality is that other cultures with self-respect are superior to it and will overtake and conquer it.  Ergo, bar being armed to the hilt to protect my loved ones and myself, I just cannot muster up the care for the self-inflicted problems of self-loathing others.

In the meantime I recommend what I always do.  Enjoy that decline people.  Enjoy that freaking decline.
________________________________
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Mattel Would Be Crazy to Cast Amy Schumer as Barbie

Because vagina jokes are leftist tirades by fat chicks will totally not ruin Barbie for little girls, oh, and not to mention the bottom line for Mattel.

For Your Early Morning Commute

A podcast about why the self help book industry is BS...except for the people who make money off of it.

And a podcast episode of The Great One Himself that I have not yet vetted.  Be prepared to disagree.

Wednesday, March 22, 2017

Why Virtue Signaling is a Survival Mechanism for the Weak Minded and Cowardly

Not to mention stupid and easily duped too.

Democrats Love Welfare Parasites More Than Government Workers

It's tough being a democrat.

It's like being the father to a bunch of parasitic children.

You have the teachers union and AFSCME.  Then you have regular unions who actually produce something.  Then you have your parasitic voting base.  Your illegal aliens. White-hating minorities.  Male-hating feminists.  SJW professional students.  Academians, and life long-government workers.  You can't play favorites because you love your socialist leeches equally.

But what happens when the money from employed white males starts to run out, or just run a little low?  And by financial default you have to start triaging your precious little lamprey children?  How does a democrat politician choose who to support and who to cut off?

Well, it seems we have the answer.  Because while government workers and government unions think the democrat party loves them the most, their behavior belies the truth.  The democrat party likes them the least.  And their favorite child is the rank welfare parasites who don't even feign to have a work ethic.

This unfortunate decision has arose because the federal government is facing breaching the debt ceiling again.  Don't worry, congress will increase it, but it forced the government into a rather embarrassing situation.  It had to pilfer the "G fund" which is nothing more than the pension fund for government employees through their Thrift Savings Plan.

This is something government employees, forever sucking the cock of socialism and the state, need to learn.  If push comes to shove, the state - notably headed up by democrat/socialist political parties - will always choose their leeching base of welfare collecting parasites over government workers.  I believe the police in Dallas might be acutely aware of this situation, not to mention some municipal employees in fine liberal towns such as Detroit and Compton, who came to find out that their beloved Democrat Dad did play favorites and cashed in their college retirement funds to continue to bribe and pay for votes with social programs for their favorite child - welfare constituents.

In short, government workers, the democrat party WILL throw you under the bus if the money isn't there.

But don't worry.  At least the federal government can just print off more money.  You local and state government workers....ehhhh, not so much.

Is the US in Another Housing Bubble?

It's approaching 10 years since I wrote Behind the Housing Crash, and certainly beyond 10 since I started writing it.  I've long abandoned the banking industry and frankly have forgotten most of the metrics, statistics, methods, and techniques I used to predict the bubble (amazing how if you don't get paid, you forget).  That being said, I did want to check in on the housing market to see if perma-low interest rates have inflated prices back to their 2007 levels and my findings, truthfully are mixed.

First, yes, according to price to rents we are back where we left off in the nose bleed section in 2007.
























The price to rents ratio has tapered off a bit since its second peak in mid 2016, but based on historical data, prices have outgrown rents across the country significantly since the second great Keynesian expansion under Obama took place. 

However, enter in historically low and historically long mortgage interest rates.  While any non-Keynesian knows artificially low interest rates create bubbles and malinvestment, two things about this long round of perma-low interest rates is that they're long term (30 year, not some damn resetting ARM or NINJA loan) and have been around for nearly a decade. 



This has allowed people to not only buy more housing on the same income, but make significant dents into their mortgages if they held onto them.  Couple that with the bad taste the housing crash left in people's mouths, it was only the long term players and home owners that were buying houses.  Not the dipshits and douches in Phoenix, Florida, Vegas, and California playing "Let's Flip This House Dude Bro!"  These variables assuage my concerns about the high price to rents ratio in that the market is not as liquid, a higher percentage of homes are not second, flip or investment properties, and 98% of the housing market is not financed with 947 to 1 ARMS with NINJA quality underwriting.

Further assuaging my concerns of a bubble are vacancies.  While rents are relatively low to prices, vacancies are just above half of the double digit vacancies we saw right before the housing bubble. 



























While the overall housing market and rental properties are not the same market, this tightening of the rental market provides somewhat of a floor that rents will unlikely fall through.  Yes, people looking to rent condos in downtown are not looking to rent suburbanite homes, but in case of an emergency, a collapse, etc. etc., spare rooms and bedrooms are commodities in that they have potential rental value. 

Finally, related to people paying down their mortgages instead of taking on three extras, combined with long and low interest rates, debt servicing to disposable income is also trending low. 



I know the argument against this is that the asset, the house, only has value based on its rents, but we have to admit a large percentage of the housing stock is to be lived in by its owners and is not purely rental property.  And artificial, disagreeable, and unprincipled you might find abusing monetary policy to pump up housing prices, low interest rates have lessened people's mortgage expense on their personal budgets, meaning they can indeed afford more housing on less income. 

Does this mean I'm advising people to go out and buy their first home or perhaps look at rental property as a means to retire?

No, not at all.  Truth is, I'm still very skeptical and wary of the high price to rents ratios the country as a whole faces.

But what I am advising is that people who are interested in property be VERY careful and proceed with caution.  The above figures are nationwide and real estate is a very local game.  You will want to do a thorough and complete analysis of the housing market you're interested in before committing your life's savings and agreeing to a 30 year commitment.  Some markets, even individual houses, are a great buy.  Some property is a good deal.  But given the valuations and the fact that the 30 year mortgage rate may not hang around 4% for the next 10 years, there's a lot of properties and markets out there that just aren't worth it.  Make sure you do your homework.
_______________________________

Aaron Clarey is a former banker and economist.  He now sits on his ass, sleeping in till 1030AM as a micro-internet celebrity.  If you need advice, consider hiring him at his egregiously expensive, but totally worth it consultancy, Asshole Consulting.

Tuesday, March 21, 2017

Americans Dying with Debt

After 78 years on this planet, Americans still can't get their act together and die with a positive net worth.

Episode #192 of The Clarey Podcast

In this triumphant return of Cappy to The Clarey Podcast:

Building clubhouses as 80's kids.
How slow normies piss me the fuck off.
Horny old conservative men hire hot millennial girls with boobs.
How have you not seen COWBOY BEBOP???
Horse girl turns lawyer!
Chinese driving up the price of scotch!
SWPL white males bend over for the NFL.
Fan mail!

AND MORE!!!

in THIS EPISODE of The Clarey Podcast!

Direct MP3 here.

RSS feed here.

Sponsored by BETTERMENT!

Monday, March 20, 2017

There are Only THREE Reasons to Go Into Business

1.  Fuck you money.
2.  No boss/can realize your potential
3.  Mental health

It sure the hell isn't "because I thought it'd be fun!"
 

How Blacks Can Make More Than Whites

Yes, it really is that simple:

Autism Muppet on Seasame Street

Our Muslim invader overlords can't invade quickly enough.

And I for one will welcome our new overlords.

Sunday, March 19, 2017

Why Environmentalists Are Incapable of Saving the Environment

Because in order to do that, they'd have to be like these engineers who developed these sails that will help power tankers at sea cut their fuel consumption by 10%.

I'll explain it again.

Windmills.
Solar panels.
Fuel efficient cars.
Batteries.

Everything that is going to help make a "greener" world is produced, conceived, and developed by STEM graduates and engineers.

Not professional whiny pussy "environmentalists" who are nothing more than professional complainers and activists.

Reminder to Do Your Lazy Sunday Shopping

Though Cappy's online Amazon program.

Why the Left Won't Stop at Money


Friday, March 17, 2017

They Would Crucify Benny Hill Today

Which is all the more reason we need to show this to the precious snowflakes:

Silicon Valley: A Brilliant Leftist Success Story

This post is not intended to be tongue and cheek.
It is not meant to be mocking and derisive as I normally am towards the left.
And there are no spoilers at the end of this post, where I pull the rug out from underneath them.

This post, in all sincerity, is a tipping of the hat, a golf clap, and admission to a genuine and brilliant achievement of the left that the right cannot hold a candle to.  It is to admit an amazing success of the left that I did not realize until just this past week.  And I would even say it raises the possibility that what the left aims to achieve is possible and feasible (though it means brainwashing entire generations and eliminating individuality, independent thought, and simple self respect).

And that achievement is Silicon Valley.

Hate California all you want.  And loathe the epicenter of smugness called San Francisco.  You cannot deny that Silicon Valley is one of the few remaining and modern day American success stories.  Admittedly the story dates back to the 1970's with the PC revolution, but today it is a reinvented success story with the internet and social media revolution.

Like the Bakken oilfield a young man (or woman) with the right skills can go out there and make six figures.  And also like the Bakken oilfield their skills WILL NOT go to waste as if it were some 1990's internship scam.  And furthermore, while not every social media platform is guaranteed to be profitable, let alone truly advance society, the titans that have come out of Silicon Valley thus far have drastically improved the quality of life, entertainment, and happiness of the world, not to mention (I theorize) kept US GDP positive since the housing collapse.

Silicon Valley, its leftist politics aside, has been a large net positive for the US and the world.

But one thing kept nagging me, as I'm sure it nagged you.

How can the people of Silicon Valley vote so left, so consistently, all the time?  Shouldn't they be conservative?  Or at least libertarian?  Why are they - be it the billionaire CEO on top, or the "lowly" entry level programmer making "only" $120,000 on the bottom - willingly voting away half their salaries, effectively enslaving themselves to people who just plain don't want to work?  Don't they know?  Don't they care?  Or do they know something we non-leftists don't?

The truth is none of the above.

What we're witnessing in Silicon Valley is not a lapse of judgement or faulty logic, nor is it a superior knowledge of socio-economics and politics us fly-over country plebs aren't hip to.  Quite simply, all the left has done was successfully brainwash two full generations in socialism.

And they have done so masterfully.

Like a nutmeg tree, the left has been patiently growing the Millennial and Gen X crop of leftists for the past 30 years.  They have done so through the soft underbelly of the United States, namely the public schools and academia, because the nuclear family and US military were too strong.  But slowly and surely, the seeds the left have sown in the 60's and 70's are paying off today.  And Silicon Valley is their pinnacle achievement.

Note that to be "old" in Silicon Valley is to be 35+.  Not 50.  Not 60.  That's the proto-crop of Baby Boomers who were experimental and inevitably went right when Reagan came into office.  But in perfecting their technique and having the Baby Boomers fully outsource the rearing of their own children to day care and the state schools, the left came to fully own the environment and primary media by which children were raised and educated.  This included reading, writing, and arithmetic, but also included subtle (and not so subtle) leftist bias, "the ozone layer," "the rain forests," "kids starving in Africa," which evolved today to things like "privilege," "31 flavors of gender," "sexism," "the pay gap," "global warming" and "your carbon footprint."  And if they weren't fully indoctrinated by then, college would cement their brainwashing, if not forcing it down students' throats as a prerequisite to graduate, graduate with honors, or mandatory pre-req classes.

The result (for at least the STEM graduates bound for Silicon Valley) were highly skilled children who were programmed to value the commune over the individual.  So not only would they produce a lot, but they'd be willing to vote themselves into slavery for half their working days.  You can see this in the charts again where more and more money Silicon money is donated to democrats as the millennials enter the work force (or Silicon Valley's millennials having orgasms OVER A VERITABLE SOCIALIST WHO WANTED TO TAX THEM AT 75%)  But what I find jaw-droppingly-amazing beyond that was how the left MASTERFULLY brainwashed these kids to think they're "independent minded" on top of it.  Like an auto-immune deficiency virus, this brilliant stroke of brainwashing ensured any attempts to instill GENUINE independent thought (heck, just a different thought) would be impossible since the host/slave themselves would not believe it possible they could be duped because "they're so smart and independent minded." 

The result is a drastic improvement over the Bolshevikian communism of the Soviet Union.  First, unlike Soviet communism, the left is at least smart enough not to ban private property and tax people at 100%.  It's kills people's incentive to work, it kills any desire to invest or innovate...and heck, it just kills people, so there's no wealth for the left to confiscate.  But if you can get the government to be an effective 40% shareholder in corporations, train students to be workaholics, but brainwash them to WILLINGLY fork over half their life's work, the amount of money, wealth, and income that can be transferred is unimaginable.  Second, if you substitute independent thought and a respect for the individual with leftist religious hokum, you can distract Jang or Steve, slaving away 80 hours a week in a cube and 20 hours a week in a commute in Silicon Valley, from just what veritable slaves they are.  Why he's not "supporting an illegal alien family of four."  He's "a good person because he's driving a Prius."  Why she's not "paying for he lazy sisters grant money to pursue a degree in Women's Studies."  She's "a good girl because she recycles."  And why he's not working weekends only to bail out student loans, single mothers, and bankster scum.  No, he's "a good man because he wore a pink pussy hat on his head."  I cannot emphasize this enough, the false leftist religions have completely supplanted economic production and agency in the minds of Silicon Valley slaves.  It means more to them to champion things like "diversity" and other politically correct pet leftist causes than think about the work life balance they have, not to mention the difference between gross and take home pay.

But even getting 400,000 of America's highest paid and hardest working workers to willingly prostrate themselves for the rest of the country to live off is not the final cherry on this brilliant leftist success.  That is what I like to call "The Safety Valve of Buyers Remorse."

Like miserable, ugly, spinster feminists who wasted their entire lives in feminism and women's studies, nobody in Silicon Valley is going to admit they were wrong about this fake religion that has stolen half their life's toil. It's too harsh a pill to swallow.  Even if, through some miracle, they would start to wake up and ACTUALLY EXERCISE INDEPENDENT THOUGHT, I doubt the human mind or their egos would let them admit they had effectively been slaves for half their lives to the leftist political and parasitic classes.  Furthermore, by the fact they're socialists they value their leftist religion/ideology more than they do their own labor and selves.  And since that false religion has served as the source of value, agency, meaning, and purpose in many of these kids' lives, taking that away would leave them with an unbearable nothing.  Sure, you'll get one or two genuinely independent minded rarities to acknowledge and endure this epiphany, but most will continue to lie to themselves and stay within the false religion.

Sadly, this is "The Safety Value of Buyers Remorse," and is what will forever keep Silicon Valley's most productive enslaved.  Just like a feminist won't admit she deep down inside wanted a husband, just like a career woman won't admit deep down inside she wanted children, too much has been invested in terms of time, career, education, money, resources, thought, and youth for Silicon's best to admit they should've gone fishing instead.  Too much value and purpose has been placed on "going green" or virtue-signaling for whatever approved political cause the left told them to.  It would be admitting the best years of their lives were wasted and they were indeed duped by their leftist professors, teachers, and politicians.  And so on the leftist Silicon Valley Plantation they will stay working for their true masters.

So I do indeed tip my hat to the left.  Like corporate America, you managed to snag the top talent of two full generations AND got them to enslave themselves willingly AND you programmed into them a poison pill that will make them yours forever.  That is some wicked crazy amazing work and needs to be noted, highlighted, applauded, and jotted down in the history books.  You not only improved upon your original communist template, but proved with simple (though long term and consistent) brainwashing you can get entire generations of humans to vote against themselves, vote against the individual and work instead for the commune "greater good."

And for you hard working Silicon Valley slaves, enjoy the decline my friends.  Enjoy that freaking decline.
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Wednesday, March 15, 2017

But Then Teachers Would Have to Work

And remember, the primary reason inferior 17 year olds declare education majors is because they're lazy and don't want to work.  So boys will continue to be given Ritalin.

Monday, March 13, 2017

Profiling Corporate America's Virtue Signalers


Your Corporate Moral Superiors

Superbowl 51 was by far the best football game in Superbowl history, or at least the best one I saw with my very own eyes.  The triumphant come back, the game going into overtime, and the crowning of Tom Brady as the greatest football player ever, made the game historic.  However, Superbowl 51 was historic in another regard - its commercials.  Specifically, never had Superbowl commercials been so political, so biased to the left, and so sopping full of virtue signaling.

At first, imbuing politics into marketing doesn't seem to be a wise strategy.  Politics (regardless of which side you choose) is going to alienate half your potential market.  Politics has no place in selling lumber, cars, or anything else for that matter.  And it's impolite.  People want to watch a game, a show, or some other form of entertainment and needn't their solace and free time ruined with politics.  But Superbowl 51's commercials were merely the latest example of an increasing trend where corporations have been oddly deciding to force politics into their marketing in an attempt to win over customers.

The question is why.

And my question is "who is doing this?"

The "why" is not only easy to answer, but important, because on top of it being annoying to be lectured by sanctimonious corporations, we need to know what's going on behind the scenes and why, all of the sudden, corporations deem it their position to lecture the American public about politics.  Usually that's the domain of politicians, tyrants, activists, and other people aiming to rule over and parasite off of you.  So when corporations do it the hair on the back of your neck should go up out of simple self respect and self-survival.  But what you'll find out is (thankfully) there is no malicious intent on the part of corporations to rule over you, but rather that they are being headed up by idiots who think virtue signaling in marketing is a good idea.  And these people are nothing more than rank, indoctrinated sheep, following their political programming they received in school, and are too stupid and common to pose any intentional threat.

Why?

Understand the phenomenon of leftist virtue signaling politics being imbued into marketing is the unintentional byproduct of socialist political brainwashing Generation X received from academia during their collegiate years in the 90's, and the millennials continue to receive to this day.  I remember it very clearly because I was there when concepts like "diversity" and "going green" were first being shoved down our throats in about 1994 and by 1997 concepts like "Corporate Social Responsibility" were being floated in the business school.  THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT TO UNDERSTAND because previous to 1994 such concepts were not part of academia, let alone business school as (presumably) businesses would not be concerned about people's politics, the environment, virtue signaling, etc., as they would be concerned about real world issues such as profits, accounting, marketing, etc.- things that were vital and required to operate a business.  In other words, concepts like diversity, privilege, CSR, etc., had no demand or call for in the real world and were purely the concoctions and creations of worthless theoretical hacks posing as business professors (and professors at large). 

Normally this would not matter as, in theory, Generation X would enter the real world and the cute pet theories of hack socialist professors would be disregarded as the demands of the real world would prove them to be worthless.  But there were three variables that not only allowed such concepts to survive, but become the philosophical bedrock of Generation X and the millennials...and ultimately the corporations they would go on to infect.

Consistency, universality, and time.

It wasn't as if academia called it quits in 1998 when most corporations were balking at the opportunity to set up unnecessary and expensive CSR departments.  Academia and academics continued to preach leftist politics, environmentalism, and feminism in all facets and disciplines in colleges and universities.  And since nearly ALL Gen X'ers and Millennials were being forced to go to college, and since nearly ALL of them were weak-minded sheeple, academia had the perfect host to install their leftist, virtue signaling theories in them over the next 20 years.  And though in 1998 Gen X were mere entry-level plebs in the world of Corporate America, in 20 years time they would rise to the rank of mid, even executive level management....

which is where we are today.

This has resulted in quasi (albeit unconscious) Manchurian candidates in positions of power in the previously non-leftist-infected world of Corporate America.  And since leftists in academia have been consistent, it also means they have successfully brainwashed a consumer generation - the millennials - in that same leftist, feminist, glass ceiling, virtue signaling philosophy.  This is only made worse for the fate of the country by two facts.

1.  The life philosophy Gen X and the Millennials have is of zero value to themselves and society.  Normally college and education, certainly the real world, would have taught them a skill, a work ethic, production and the importance of producing something of value for society.  This would lead to economic growth, progress, advancement, and increased standards of living.  However, leftist virtue signaling has no value whatsoever.  It is a zero-calorie life philosophy where simply advocating and "signaling" the politically correct and approved positions is deemed enough to replace real purpose and agency in life.  And since it takes absolutely NO EFFORT OR LABOR to do, it is the preferred religion and life ideology of the weak minded.

This is why it's no surprise most Millennials have no meaningful form of employment, no meaningful lives, no real future life plans, and no meaningful people in their lives.  It's also why Gen X is just now finally paying off their student loans, maybe recovering from the housing crisis, are nowhere near where their WWII counterparts were at this age, and are just as good at divorce as their Baby Boomer predecessors.  You have two full generations of wasted crops that are of zero value to society.

But, understand through their eyes it's all OK and all is forgiven because of their effortless and laborless belief in...

choose your flavor of virtue signaling

I'm going green
I recycle
the glass ceiling
I'm for equality
I'm for the poor
I'm for the old
I'm for the children
I'm against white males
I have white guilt
I acknowledge my privilege
Diversity
etc. etc. etc.


2.  Bar the Baby Boomer generation and what remnants of the WWII generation remain, the entire country is thoroughly steeped and indoctrinated in this new and worthless religion.  The academic left has successfully convinced a majority of the population that their mere, pathetic, and ultimately worthless political beliefs are a substitute for genuine work, accomplishment, achievement, sacrifice, agency, purpose, and love for their fellow man.  It is a religion so thorough, and so universal, that likes, political positions, and political posturing are more important than having a job, having a family, and having respect for yourself.  And so, now that real purpose and reason in life has been replaced with a leftist religion, and most of these people literally have nothing else in life, it makes pandering and virtue signaling to leftists the perfect marketing tool for Corporate America.

In short, it is no different than the US interstate system.  The academic left has (I still believe unintentionally) laid down a system, a philosophical/religious infrastructure of which now the majority of the population subscribes to and drives on.  And no matter how worthless, wrong or damaging, there is an economies of scale efficiency to take advantage of it, and Corporate America, now headed up by true believers itself, is fully intending to do so.  Ergo it doesn't matter that politics does NOT belong in advertising.  It does not matter that socialist policies are antithetical to corporate profits.  It doesn't matter that you'll risk alienating whites, males, or legal citizens, or even the sovereignty of the country itself.  It's a religion believed from the heads of CSR and marketing departments, all the way down to the 6 year old getting his or her first dose of leftist political indoctrination by his politically correct teachers about global warming.

Who?

So who are these people now heading up corporations, fully intending to avail themselves of the leftist indoctrination highway infrastructure?  Are they evil masterminds?  Are they the next generations of George Soroses?  Are they cutting edge visionaries who have insights into the minds of the American public nobody else has?

Unfortunately, no.  It's quite the opposite actually.  There's very little individuality, intelligence, and visionary thinking going on.  It's nothing but a bunch of mindless conformists who have the same worthless marketing and diversity degrees, spewing the same bland "pro-diversity" "you go girl" pablum they've been programmed to since the 90's.  There's nothing new, there's nothing unique, and it's damning proof corporate America, especially under Gen Xer's leadership, are plumb fresh out of ideas, innovation, or intelligence. 

Ergo we can reliably predict the boring demographic profile of this herd of sheep.  They're predominantly Gen X.  They're predominantly in worthless soft fields such as marketing, general business management, (or blatantly political and worse), CSR, or "diversity."  Very few if none will be actual producers (engineers, accountants, doctors, etc.).  And if there's any availability of their politics, you'll find them to have the politically correct and approved leftist political beliefs their indoctrinators told them to have in the 1990's.  Alas, when we compile a list of marketing, CSR, HR, and (heaven help you if your wasting the shareholder's money on this) "diversity" heads of companies that are the most ardent of corporate virtue signalers, you will clearly see the trend and understand why corporations have decided to lecture you about politics.

Salesforce.com

If you don't know about Salesforce.com, that's alright, it's an unprofitable firm that has never turned a profit.  However, Salesforce.com did make news when it's CEO, Marc Benioff, announced it would create a CEO position.  Not a "Chief Executive Officer" position, but a "Chief EQUALITY Officer" position.  Here, the new "CEO" is not the actual virtue signaling culprit (he's actually quite an accomplished gentleman from Microsoft), but Marc Benioff himself.  If you look at his background, again, Gen X, general business degree, a sales and marketing background, and his resume speaks more about changing society than...well...turning a bleeping profit.  Again, his politics of virtue signaling is more important than reality, a triumphant accomplishment of the left.

Lumber 84

Though on the cusp of Gen X/Young Baby Boomer, Maggie Hardy Magerko - now CEO of Lumber 84 - is the one responsible for the blatantly pro-illegal alien, anti-US sovereignty ad that (I personally hope) bankrupts Lumber 84.  Though she claims she is pro-Trump and didn't think the commercial would be controversial, again she fits the profile.  A milquetoast degree in "business administration," an older Gen X'er, and the luxury of not having to live in the real world because she inherited the company from her father.

Target

Who can forget Target and their "can-see-it-from-a-million-miles-away" virtue signaling when it came to transgendered bathrooms?  There was no problem to solve.  Transgendered people had been using bathrooms just fine for years with no major complaints or problems.  But that's not enough for Target's corporate virtue signaling culture.  They needed to do something, and damn the shareholders' profits if we have to!


The truth is Target has always been on the forefront of corporate virtue signaling.  If you shop there you'll be reminded constantly that they donate 5% of pre-tax profits to the community.  You'll also be reminded of diversity as nearly all of their models are not white (even in the whitest parts of Minnesota), their CSR department looks like a 1990's Burger King Kids Club rainbow coalition special, and though not personally responsible for Target's unrivaled track record in virtue signaling, their "Executive Vice President and Chief External Engagement Officer" - Laysha Ward - is the epitome of what this article is talking about.  Journalism degree, "Masters in in Social Work," and a resume of touchy feel good non-profit "work" that hasn't done a single thing to genuinely help minorities or women.  Then again, Target is not interested in genuinely helping minorities and women.  They are interested, however, in virtue signal marketing to the equally brainwashed, suburbanite sheeple Gen X soccer moms so as to get them to buy an indulgence from "Diversity Rich Target" to forgive them of their white guilt.

Coca Cola

Coke, like Target, has been an early adapter corporate virtue signaler.  Though not explicitly political in their ads, their ads always had the leftist kumbaya, hipster, hippie, ski-bum-parasite, globalist feel to it.  So one cannot personally blame Coke's new marketing director - Melanie Clark - for their historical track record.  But Ms. Clark's background again precisely fits the profile.  Gen X, worthless BA in business administration, a masters in "marketing," and the obligatory conferred (and many) "women's awards" in any modern day woman's CV.  She may not have come up with Coke's "America the Beautiful" Super Bowl ad, but I'm sure she'll come up with something similar next year.

Audi

Now sit down, because I don't want to shock you, but have you ever heard of this before?  This "glass ceiling?"

Have you heard of it?

There's also this thing called "the wage gap."

I know!  Crazy stuff!  Who's EVER heard of these things before???

But just incase you HAVEN'T heard of these things before...constantly....repeatedly...for the past 20 years, don't worry!  Loren Angelo of Audi is here to remind you.

In charge of Audi's American marketing I surmise he is ultimately responsible for reminding Americans (again) of just how oppressed and bad women have it here in the US.  He's also here to remind you men that you are personally responsible for this oppression because you oppress American women everyday. And if you didn't know that, don't worry, Audi's latest Super Bowl commercial will remind you.  He may have gotten help from Christine Gaspar, Audi America's HR/Diversity head (replete with liberal arts degree), but the point is moot.  Both fit the profile previously established.

Worthless degrees (marketing, psychology).
No real production (sales, non-profits, soft sciences, no calculus)
Gen X

and (given the dislike ratio on Audi's Super Bowl commercial)

a preference for their prescribed politics from the 90's over reality, profits, and courtesy not to lecture people about politics.

Lyft

And finally there's Logan Green.  I don't want to incriminate the innocent hard working men and women of Lyft when this epitome of Corporate Virtue Signaling is such a virtue signaler he needs a cape, but Logan Green is everything this article is about. 

A worthless degree in economics, a background in public sector transportation work, he simply got lucky with the technology allowing him to form the second largest, and not profitable, ridesharing company.  But what angers me is the intellectually dishonest shenanigans Lyft played on Uber when Uber made a tweet that surge pricing was turned off during a taxi cab strike at an airport so its clients would know they could still get to the airport.  You want to talk about lack of innovation, creativity, or just plan inability to come up with a superior service, and then substituting a virtue signaling arms race in its stead?  I give you the poster child of Corporate American Virtue Signaling - Logan Green. 

Follow the Corporate CSR Virtue Signaling Road

We could go on, and there will certainly be no shortage of future corporate virtue signaling in the future, but if you want to understand why corporations find it their right to moralize and lecture you about politics, merely trace who is in charge of their marketing, HR, CSR, or diversity departments.  Chances are you will see robotic, Gen X, Manchurian candidates forcing their politics into the operations of the firm because they literally do not know any better.  I don't care what degrees they have from whatever "prestigious" business school, they are automatons who lack the ability to think, and because of this default to the programming they received by socialist social engineers in the 90's.  Instead of coming up with genuinely creative marketing campaigns, or (here's a crazy thought) coming up with products people will willingly pay for, they unimaginatively resort to relying on the leftist-virtue-signaling-infrastructure that has been laid down for the past 20 years.  The only REAL way to get these moralizing crusaders and proselytizers to stop is to stop buying their products, boycott them, and do it en mass enough that the executives have to choose between their 90's political-religion or bankruptcy.

Of course that would require independent thought...
And of course, self-respect...
And a spine to inconvenience yourself not to buy a Starbucks coffee...
Which most non-leftist people don't have...
And most of the population is brainwashed into the religion of Virtue Signaling...
And the schools are still mass producing these virtue signaling sheep...

So never mind.  Expect Super Bowl LII's ads to be just as insulting, degrading, and moralizing as Super Bowl LI.  And for the rest of you who do have the slightest modicum of independent thought and self-respect, Enjoy the Decline!
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Don't Act White

Mercy god almighty in heaven above.  Don't act white.

Sunday, March 12, 2017

How to Recon Denver

A client of mine wanted to know if he had only 2 weeks to do his Reconnaissance where should he go and what should he do.  Because of his personal tastes and preferences we came up with a general game plan on how to tackle the US (in pieces), but I compiled a very specific itinerary that I thought would be of use and benefit to any young man or woman out there curious about the Denver area and PRECISELY how to get the most out of exploring the area in 2 weeks.

Admittedly the schedule is aggressive (cough cough - unless you're me - cough cough) and you're not stopping to look and smell the roses, but it is the most efficient and optimal way to see South Dakota, Wyoming, parts of Utah, and Colorado if you are interested in HQ-ing out of Denver and seeing all that is within a 2 week road trip.

Regardless, if you are a young person and you don't know what you want to do for a living or what to major in, I cannot recommend exploring this country FIRST and finding out where you belong BEFORE committing yourself to a 4, 6 or 8 year educational commitment.   It's why I wrote the book Reconnaissance Man so you don't waste your lives like we older folk did.  Trust me, it's worth every penny, and if you're lazy and don't like reading it's available in audible so you can listen to it while you explore the country.



Day One

Land in Denver in the morning.  Hi-tail it to Wall, SD.  If you get there in time to do the Badlands National park north rim and the sun is out DO IT.  It will save you a day.  ALSO BUY THE NATIONAL PARKS PASS.  It’ll cost $100, but will be cheaper given the number of parks you’ll be going to.

Day Two

Do the Badlands National Park Rim if you haven’t already.  Then head to Keystone via Rapid City.  Just outside of Keystone is Mount Rushmore.  Your national park pass should work there as well, but don’t dither.  Just look at the guys, say hi, and move on.  They don’t put on a show.  You will then backtrack back down the mountain towards Keystone and hang a right on 16A going to Iron Mountain look out.  This is some of the best curvy road driving in the country.   Keep an eye open for the South PlayHouse Road.  Hang a right there and if you get lost you are aiming for the Black Hills Playhouse which is a shitty theater in the forest.  Then hang a right on hwy 87.  This will take you through the back door to the Cathedral Spires, the Needles, and past Lake Sylvan where the trailhead to Harney’s peak (the highest peak in the Black hills) is.  If you want to hike Harneys peak I’d recommend it, but you may have to postpone your travels for a day.  Regardless, BECAUSE YOU WENT IN THE BACK DOOR TO THIS STATE PARK YOU WILL NOT HAVE THE PASS TO BE THERE.  SO IF YOU WANT TO HIKE HARNEY”S PEAK YOU NEED TO DRIVE PAST SYLVAN LAKE TO THE RANGER STATION, PULL A U-y, GET A PASS, AND PARK BY SYLVAN LAKE.  However if you don’t have the time or inclination, just drive through and IF you get stopped (you won’t) save you were told in Keystone by a bartender to take the “16A” route to Sylvan lake and “you didn’t know there was a fee” because “you’re just two dumbasses from New York.”
Regarldess, continue to take 87 all the way down to 385 which you will take all the way up to Deadwood.  Park, pay the meter, and walk around downtown and gamble a bit if you want.  There is the ONLY cigar lounge in that area in Deadwood.  But after a couple games of black jack and some marginal food you’ll want to move on. 
Here you’ll have the option to go to Sturgis if your dad really wants to see it.  It’s nothing exciting, so don’t dilly dally.  But regardless of whether you go to Sturgis or not, you will have to head back the way you came to dead wood to Lead, staying on Alt 14/85 to a crossroads called Cheyenne Crossing.  Hang a right here on 14A/ “Spearfish Canyon Rd” and drive that ALLLL the way down to the town of Spearfish.  Here, you’ll hook up back to the interstate and drive to Buffalo where I recommend you stay at the Occidental Hotel, but one of the cheaper ones will suffice.  “Dave” is the older gentleman who runs the place.  Tell him “Aaron the dance instructor” sent you guys and pony up to the bar you won’t find another like it. 



Day Three

Here, you will need to check weather and road conditions in Wyoming.  Specifically if BEAR TOOTH PASS is open.  If it isn’t, your goal will be to go Yellowstone national park and Grand teton’s national park via 14.  If not, then I’d recommend spending time in the Big Horn mountains specifically Crazy Woman Canyon, Ten Sleep Canyon, and going up to Sheridan.  Still, “ideally” you’ll wake up early and be prepared because you’ll have about 16 hours of traveling ahead of you.

Out of Buffalo, go over the Big Horn mountains to Tensleep.  You will go through Ten Sleep Canyon.  It is worth it.  Go north out of Worland to Greybull hang a left on 14 and take that to Cody.  You will go north on 120, but your goal is to go via Chief Joseph’s Highway (Dead Indian Hill road) to Bear Tooth Pass Highway (also 212).  Go right on 212 to a town called Red Lodge, Montana.  The pass down will probably be the coolest thing you see on this entire trip until Moab.  So pray the pass is open.
Fuel up in Red Lodge, turn around, go back up the pass, back to Cody, right/west on 14 again into Yellowstone Park.  Drive around, take some pictures of buffalo and hot springs, but don’t take too long or the sun will set and you won’t see the Grand Tetons.  Regardless, take 14 to 191 south into Grand Teton’s National park and Jackson, where I recommend you stay. 


Day Four

If you haven’t seen the Grand Tetons, go back north on 191, look at them, say “wow” and get your asses back in the car going south.  You will drive to Grand Junction, Colorado, taking 191 south through Rock Springs and Vernal Utah (use your GPS/phone).  This route is more scenic and you have the option to stop at Dinosaur National Monument which is optional, but pretty cool.  You will want to stay in Grand Junction because it’s going to be a HELL of a lot cheaper where you’re going next – Moab, Utah.  Still, if there’s daylight, I’d recommend driving through Colorado National Monument (national park pass should pay for itself by now) and getting a hotel in Grand Junction for the evening.

Day Five

You will drive to Moab Utah, but you will NOT go the most direct route.  You ABSOLUTELY MUST take the alternative back road called 128.  You will not regret this drive.  It will bring you to Moab, and you should have plenty of time to drive through Arches National Park as well as my favorite park, Canyonlands National Park.  Unless you and your dad TOTALLY PREPARED for some major hiking, just drive through and look at the parks.  There’s not much else to do.  You absolutely must drive to the end of Grand Point view road AND if you are courageous enough, drive the switchbacks down on Schafer Canyon Road.  Drop the money and spend the night in Moab even though it will be pricey.

Day Six

There are three parts to Canyonlands National Park.  The first one being up north by Moab.  Another one located to the south where the entreance to the park is on 191 and 211.  It’s worth driving there and doing a little hiking if you feel like it, but your next stop after exploring this area a little bit will be Cortez, Colorado.  Cortez isn’t that far away so if you want to recoup or just explore Moab some more, go ahead.  But if you get to Cortez and there’s enough sun out, you must hike at least a little bit of “Canyon of the Ancients”  The trailhead is several miles west of Cortez on Road “G.”  Keep driving, there’s a big sign on the north side of the road that marks it.  Hike up those trails and you’ll see scores of ancient Ute Indian adobe dwellings from the 1100’s.  You can see the same thing for $25 and a 2 hour round trip, with a MANDATORY PAIN IN THE ASS PARK RANGER CHAPERONE at Mesa Verde National Park to the east of Cortez which is a royal pain in the ass and not that impressive.  Ergo, I strongly recommend Canyon of the Ancients over Mesa Verde

Day Seven

Drive from Cortez to Durango, then north to Ouray.  More majestic mountains, AGAIN CHECK TO MAKE SURE THE PASS IS CLEAR.  From Ouray, your goal will be to hit Black Canyon National Park.  You can’t really hike it because they are 1,000 foot sheer cliffs, but they’re amazing to look at.  After an hour or so there, drive to Colorado Spring OR if you want to just sit and chill in a mountain/white water rafting/microbrew/pothead town crash in Salida. 

Day Eight

Pikes Peak.  Just outside Colorado Springs.  Again, make sure it’s open, pay the $10 and drive to the top.  I would also maybe check your oil and brake pads before driving up it.  After that I’d head back to Denver where you will HQ for the rest of the trip.

Day Nine

Rocky Mountain National Park.  To be truthful, you will have seen much nicer mountain ranges than what Rocky Mountain National Park offers, but you got that park pass so you might as well use.  Additionally, Hallett Peak is a “doable” peak assuming you get there early enough and your dad and you don’t die from altitude sickness.

Days 10-14

After that, that is the MAJORITY (though not all) of the major sites to see out in Colorado, Wyoming, parts of Utah, and South Dakota.  Obviously if you rush it you will do it in about 9 days, but you’ll obviously want to rest up or just explore some areas more than what the mad dash schedule recommends.  Since you’d likely be looking for work in Denver, I’d spend a little more time in the town just to get to know it even though it may not be as exciting.  Regardless, here are some day time trips to consider:

Hanging Lake hike
Black Hawk (casinos, small town)
Cigars on 6th (Denver)
Golden (nice town, they have the Colorado School of mines, worth considering for career option)
Rocky Mountain National Park
Fort Collins downtown

And a billion miles of hiking trails off of the Rockies.